It's Never too Late

To start over.

This week's homily was about being open to change in our lives, and in the church.  It was refreshing to hear, since most of the time the message I hear is "Catholics are incapable of change, and *insert negative word here*.  This made me take a look at my life, and my openness to change and trusting God.

I am not the best blogger.  Some people who have blogs or diaries are wonderful at updating like clockwork, keeping their readers engaged and informed at all times; that is a dream for me.  I really do enjoy blogging, but it's more than that.  This blog (and all my other "failed" diary attempts over the years) is therapy for me.  So, even though I am not the best blogger, I will continue to start over, picking myself back up into the world of writing again and again.

I am now 24 weeks pregnant with this miracle baby, and am consistently brought to tears when the magnitude of this blessing hits me.  I am so incredibly humbled and at a loss for words that God has decided to bless my DH and I with this precious gift of life.  It continues to amaze me every day.

We found out at our 20 week ultrasound that "Agent B" is a boy!  We have chosen the name Elijah Tucker for him; Elijah for it's biblical meaning (the Lord is my God), and Tucker after my father Charles "Tucker" who passed away in October.  We found out we were expecting Eli exactly 2 months to the day of when my father passed away; once we knew it was a boy, we wanted to honor my dad's memory with our son's name.

I never thought I wouldn't look forward to a birthday.  I turn 26 this year, and will "age out" of my health insurance.  DH and I are both self-employed, and would have to pay for our own insurance, rather than it being provided by an employer.  The real kicker is that although we (if we really limit our spending to bare bones) can afford to get me a new plan, this pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition and is not covered.  The cost to have a baby out of pocket is around $10,000, and there is no way we could afford that.  We have been praying for months for a solution to this crisis, and have really needed to trust God.  It has been one of the most difficult times.

A few weeks ago, God answered our prayers in a huge way.  Since our income is rather modest, we were able to qualify for Medicare coverage in the special program for pregnant women.  The pregnancy will be covered, and we no longer lay awake at night trying to figure out how we will afford to bring this baby into the world.  Thank you, God for Your grace and mercy.

We have also really had to trust God with my business.  Employment in our house has always been a tough issue; we both work, but our combined income is still not where it really needs to be to support us.  We are working and praying hard every day, and will not give up.  We are fighters!

At the risk or turning this post into a book, I will end there for now.  Any prayers for our family would be greatly appreciated!  You are never far from my thoughts, I read many of your blogs daily.